MY 2OO6 MOST HATED LIST

In just a few days, we'll be drinking and partying ourselves to the upcoming year: 2007.
A time for me to reflect on MY hated this past year....so herre's my list

Music :

• Sorry to disappoint fans of this character I cannot stand nor point out how she ended up in the music industry. Clearly, she has talent but just not in the music industry, I sound better than her in the shower. Let me give up to Paris Hilton. She goes far to show what money can buy! Well, I wouldn’t care or dare rip her CD’s, just not worth it.

• His marriage to Britney Spears may have won him some fans, NOT from me! He is musically impaired, if this word even exists! He should stick to his first love career wise and keep on dancing, he doesn’t belong in the music industry except as a back up dancer. His concert was actually, under sold and was cancelled, he didn’t have enough fans to attend. If I were him, I shoulda gotten the hint by now. Of course I’m talking about Kevin Federline.

• Tenacious D
  I’m sure your wondering “WHO D’ HELL.” I thought they were a joke, when I first saw their appearance on T.V. I’m giving them by the end of this year and I’m sure the music business woulda forgotten them. They old, and have no mark in the music industry.
  
  Reality Shows:
  
• Frankly, I hate reality shows once in a while, I’d fall into watching the over dramatized episodes of “I Know What You Ate Last Summer.” If your not familiar with this show, I’m not surprised either, with just about 5 episodes the show came to an abrupt end! I’m not surprised though, with the cast of unappreciated British whining kids who can’t seem to keep off junk. This show just didn’t add up to expectations, it jazzes me how it got on air.

• Style Me, hosted by the famous model, Rachel Hunter. This is plain stupidity! A couple of people compete for a top spot to dress Rachel Hunter and join her glam squad. This is not the best way to look for a stylist nor get a job. The show is plain boring and didn't draw any attensionfor me to keep watching it. This show just doesn't have any life.

Books:

Harry Potter
I cannot stand any editions of this book, I know what your thinking, “You can’t judge a book by it’s cover.” Well, I went further and actually attempted to read the whole damn book, and Yes I finished reading it! It was a disgrace, the characters were far-fetched and beyond reality. It wasn’t just for me, Couldn’t understand what it is readers admire in this book? Maybe it’s the names….

Food:

• The thought of eating raw fish with a side sour sauce was nauseating. None the less , I was bold enough and decided to try some sushi. Conclusion: “NEVER” again. I got a throat infection that lasted for a couple of days. Maybe I was a special case and my throat couldn’t adjust to the foreign food, I wouldn’t make the same mistake. Next time I’ll settle for some McDonalds.

• KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) It's plain Over deep fried chicken, with saggy fries that stick together! that's how we get it here, woudn't dare put that *&^# in my mouth. With their trans fat scandal, let's not go there. If your looking for good food, i woudn't suggest this fast food service, maybe some PIZZA or Mc's or even home made food will do much better.

• Squid, it's like chewing rubber in your mouth, very tough. Unless you pocess cow like qualities and enjoy continuous chewing, then enjoy!

• Pakistani pilau rice, i'm not looking for a heart attack! It's too oily.....not the best meal. stick to your ugali and skuma.....

• Cheese cake - UGHHHHH , I can still remember that after taste, just hate it....

• Liver , a few months ago i was put on a restricted diet of this to help with my anaemia problems, I wish i hadn't gone to the doctor's after tasting this meat....i had never really eaten liver until then. The SMELL, LOOK , TASTE, just disgusted me! no matter how well you cook it or how many seasonings you add, that pee taste is just horifying!! Ofcourse, i never finished my diet, i found other better means.......advice : avoid it, while you can..........

Celebrity (s):

• Madonna many of you might adore her or admire her. She certainly ain’t my role model, frankly she should retire! She’s getting older its’ about time she give up show business. Her idea to adopt the Malawian child, sparked my hatred even more. It’s not her goodwill that ticked me, but her idea of adapting a child as an “accessory.”

• Jessica Simpson
  Hmmmmmm, I can’t quite point out what I hate about her, but maybe her appearance, her voice. She just doesn’t interest me, has become quite a bore. OH yes, I’ve remembered her scantily dressed self. She has a figure any over weight person would kill for, but she has to manage dressing her self. Her music is quite helpful when I want to sleep, or get rid of unwanted guests.

• Jennifer Lopez
  She had been my favorites, not until she had planned to come here and perform. Of course I bought her ticket, like many of her fans did. Then all of a sudden, her concert is postponed. I’m a patient chicka so I wait. After 2 months later she refuses to come here. Ati Marc Antony is on tour “she wants to be near him,” Upuzi. I don’t work it took me time to get my good cash …

Footnote : These are MY views, based on my experiences. If i have offended you in any way, sincerely, apologise. In case your wondering, I do have a MOST loved list, will try to load it real soon. Othersise "happy holidays and have a drinken new year"

God bless........

How Far Would You Go 4 Your Man?

Another disturbing article, i've just read, well you may or may not agree with me. However, if i have to please my prince charming, i'll let him know i'm not going this far, beauty lies in the eye of the beholder not the vagina........follow the link

http://www.eastandard.net/mags/instinct/articles.php?articleid=1143962567

Upuzi

Some useful nonsense I stumbled by, thought I might share

o Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes

o Women make up 49% of the world population

o Male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day

( I know sum jamaz are getting excited by the thought of this)

o On average, a person laughs about 15 times each day

o A cow farts about 600 liters every day. That is enough to fill up 40 party balloons?

o Women blink nearly twice as much as men

o Chickens out populate humans 1:4, for every human there are 4 chickens

o If you fart constantly for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb?

o In average a woman smiles more often than a man

o The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes?

o In 1993, Britain allegedly proposed a law, requiring all bald people to have their scalps converted into solar-power units, as part of the country's energy conservation programme. (maybe Kenya should consider ) This was protested and demonstrated against by millions of human rights activists and was later discarded.

o Today's "modern" man has no clue about romance, giving chocolates, sending flowers or how to woo a woman properly. Some men even need to resort to using a map in order to find their way around a woman's body.
(Which men are these? I wouldn’t agree, not all men are fools…..)

o Apparently, it is illegal to urinate after midnight in Gibraltar if you are under 18 (How would they know) Some people say that it’s also illegal to paint, or pierce your genitals over there or have them tattooed, as they believe it causes infertility, which is not good for a small population like the one in Gibraltar.

More 2 Kenya Than What Meets The Eye

I’m sick of it, I’m sure many more Kenyans’ are on the same boat as me. Recently, a very close friend of mine, asked me, if I could run 400 meters under 15 or less seconds! I hesitated knowing that I wouldn’t be able to crawl that fast under any circumstances. Her, like many others friends I have met, have asked me the most embarrassing and stunning questions regarding Kenya and Kenyans in general. Some questions include:

• Do you live in a mud hut?
• Is there coke out there?
• Is your backyard back home, littered with wild animals? Some even go as far as to ask if I pet lions and giraffes!
• Are you a masaai?

And when I’ve braided my hair, to some people out here, it’s rocket science. Someone even thought I had undergone surgery to get my hair braided, they simply couldn’t understand the simple math of braiding hair. So as to spare them shame and embarrassment, I laugh and reply, “As a matter of fact yes, 2 hours in surgery to get me looking this pretty,” I joke. Some jama’s take me seriously the next thing they ask is if I could give them the hospital for their very own wive’s to try. At this point I’m jazzed, I mean blown out of my mind.
Well, the list continues, but this particular one made me think how ignorant people really are, I mean really ignorant.
I had met, this woman, from my local church, she was new and was helping me out on an activity. We didn’t talk much however, towards the end of the day, she asked me where I was from, I muttered Kenya. She later asked the most astonishing question, I’ve ever heard. “I been watching CNN lately, and I’m sure your aware that there’s drought in you country, I’m so sorry for the situation in your country, if you need anything, I’m willing to help.”
I stared, at this whole grown woman, I thought she was MAD, I wanted to reply, I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but silently I cursed CNN. I was still within the church premises so I kept my calm.
Later on, I gave her a few of my treasured postcards, from Kenya. After viewing picturesque and enticing views of Kenya she apologized and said she should have known better ( just what I thought).
Well below are a few captivating, pictures of Kenya, for those ignorant idiots out there.
And for those still, in thought, there’s more to Kenya than athletes and poverty, you just have to OPEN your eyes more!
God Bless, ignorant fools out there.

ONLY IN KENYA

Only In Kenya

...I'm lost for words...

~I wish Me A Merry x'mas~

Christmas is here! The long anticipated activity of the year has arrived! I’m just getting warmed up, for my celebrations this year. As this would be my last celebration with my family , I have drafted a long list of all the things I’ve ever wanted and never received, my dears the long is damn long, and has all the unthinkable, from an ipod to socks! Yes, even socks have made it to my most wanted list. It will be just a matter of days, in fact 22 days until I can see what from my list has made it, maybe all, just one or even none at all of the item will. As for me that won’t be a problem, I’ve never been a tantrum child, I will do as I have been doing for the past years. I will buy my very own damn presents, I do love my self don’t I? marvelously wrap it, even newspapers will do the trick, keep it as simple as I am, and carefully place it under the tree and scribble my name on it! Yes, you can call me selfish or shameful, but hey, it’s being innovative! Let me add a little story to make you guys understand, I’m sure you all have heard the Noah story, yes the one which he was building the ark, when he was building it ( if your not paying attention, the ark!) back then it was summer, of course people thought he was mad, I mean building this great big ark in the middle of summer, and no rain was even expected to come in any few days, bottom line is that you have to be prepared no matter what! I’m making those preparations for my self, I’m not going to stand around and wait to be bought my presents, I very well know exactly what I need! If your on the same boat as mine, then start your shopping now, I mean most of the shops are on sale, better value for your money. If your s till not convinced then I assume your one of those people who expect to be served with a silver, let’s make it golden spoon. But my dears, in this world nobody really cares, you got to make it happen for yourselves………as for me, I’ll continue doing just that, as I’ve known to rock my very own boat.

~`*We all Have an African In Us~`*

As an African, they're a few things I quite enjoy to do. Insane or embarrassing as some may sound, I’ve come to enjoy the African in me!
Opportunities, which one of us doesn’t enjoy opportunities! We all do, as for me, I leap at any opportunity that comes my way, I don’t let them go.
Recently, I was invited for a paid stay at the Intercontinental Hotel, over here. My past stays there haven’t been pleasant at all, but hey, I’m an opportunist and took it in my pride, and this time it wasn’t my wallet that was slimming, “why not”? (I’m sure I’m not alone in thoughts) During my stay, I enjoyed the pool, mouth watering dishes and the resident bar, which I frequently visited. But not until my last day did my fun begin. Whilst, I packed, I dubiously took some souvenirs’. They included, bar soaps, shampoos, lotions, conditioners and yes I even managed a towel. ( no I’m not crazy) I glanced at the pillow, it was tempting, but my baggage was overloaded and plus it would be too obvious. However insane you find me, I’m sure I ain’t the only one out there who enjoys this, I mean I paid for it ( well not initially, but you get my point)
I’m sure we all have an African in us!
Just to add, a few weeks ago, I visited a local shisha café over here with my Kenyan buddies. Any meeting with a few Kenyans is gonna be loud but that didn’t quite prepare me for their actions.
As it neared the end of the night and most of us being extremely tired, well at least I knew I was damn sleepy. I asked for the bill, and got up to make my way to the car when we had paid. Sleepy me, got a sight of my good friend, bagging tissues ( YES, an entire tissue box) and another one stashing a bowl of assorted nuts into his pocket! ( and yes, they were a lot!) at this point I had fully awoken from my slumber. Are they for real I thought?! I mean come on it’s a tissue box and nuts! However, I couldn’t hide my smile that quickly turned into mad laughter.
At the end of the night, I concluded be it a tissue box, nuts as for me, hotel property or cutlery. At the bottom of it , we all have an African inside us! I’m sure hapo tuko pamoja! (we’re all together!)
They should be more people like me or my Kenyan buddies, we aren’t thieves (unless we get caught) simply we are opportunists! I encourage more opportunists to come out of their shells.
Well, what ever you call it, I’m out, have a good night as for me let me sleep and see if any opportunities will come by my dreams…
*Names have not been mentioned to avoid embarrassment and me getting my ass whopped*